The Bliss Blog

The Rosaries

2012-02-10T21:27:00.000-08:00

I’m sure many of you know this story, but it bears repeating.

I went to Medjugorje in 1999, after both my mom and dad had passed away. One of the things on my mind at the time was, “Are Mom and Dad in heaven?” and I got my answer when I got home, when I discovered the links on both my mom and my dad’s rosaries had turned gold, a common phenomenon that has occurred to people in conjunction with Medjugorje. (If you don't know anything about Medjugorje, it's an apparition site of the Blessed Mother. Google it if you're curious.)

When I used to drive the kids out to school at Saints Peter and Paul, we would say a decade of the rosary in the mornings on the way. After Kathleen and Jacob moved on to different schools and it was just me and Andrew (and of course baby Peter), we didn’t do it anymore. One day in 2001, Andrew, 4th grade, said, “Mom, I want to start saying the rosary on the way to school again like we used to.” A proud parent moment until he continued: “I want my rosary to turn gold like yours did so I can take it to a jewelry shop and sell it and get a lot of money.” After a lengthy lecture on “That’s not why we pray, etc,” I told him he could ask Mary for a sign, but with that attitude I didn't think he would get one! So Andrew brought his rosary that I had gotten him in Medjugorje into the car and every morning we would pray a decade on the way to school.

We did this for awhile… until December 21, 2001. I specifically remember the date because it was the last day of school, a Friday, before Christmas break. Andrew was leading our prayer, and all of a sudden, he says, “Wait a minute… wait a minute… uh… wait a minute..” I kept asking what was wrong, but he seemed flabbergasted. “Uh… my rosary is all messed up!”

His rosary, which had been perfectly fine the last time we used it, with the typical 10 beads and one Our Father bead 5 times around, was now “all messed up!” Six beads, then 16 beads, then 8, etc. All the beads were still there, they just were not connected in the same way anymore! Amazing! Of course we knew right away that the Blessed Mother was telling Andrew: “I hear you. I love you. Thanks for praying. Here is your sign – but I’m NOT going to turn your rosary gold!” What a loving Mother she is. And what a sense of humor she has - Andrew wanted the rosary to be of value, and she changed it into a rosary that was essentially of no MONETARY value, but one of great SPIRITUAL value!

I’ve been saying the Memorare a lot lately. In case you don’t know it, here it is: Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O virgin of Virgins, my mother. To you do I come, before you do I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

May the Blessed Mother wrap you in her holy mantle today.

Stalk your bliss

2012-01-12T13:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Beloved Friends and Family!

From Andrew:

I want to thank you for your support of my ministry on the Catholic National Evangelization Team in Australia. I made my fundraising goal thanks to you. I arrived safely in Brisbane after 40 hours and 4 different planes rides. Lots of waiting in airports but totally worth it. I have already started training and my first host family is really great. Please continue to pray for me, and you can be sure I will be keeping all of you in my prayers as well. It is a real blessing to have my amazing family and great friends to count on. I know the next 10 months will be a life-changing experience for me.

I want to tell you about what happened just before Andrew left; I will keep it as short as possible!

Andrew’s flight was scheduled to leave January 3. On December 30^th, he got this email from NET:

Hi Andrew,

Unfortunately I have some bad news. I have heard nothing about your visa.

I called their office and was told to expect to wait two weeks.

Their office is now closed until 3rd January when I believe you are supposed to fly. Therefore, I don't think you are going to be able to fly out at this time as you cannot fly when you don't have your visa. This means you will need to change your flights.

I would recommend not buying the new ticket until you have heard that your visa has been granted. I know this will be very disappointing, but unfortunately we don't have a choice. This is the reality of travelling overseas.

You can imagine that Andrew was very disappointed. We decided to just wait and see (for what I’m not sure) and pray about it. Finally, on January 2 we decided we better do something in addition to praying. I tried to get a hold of the travel agent several times and couldn’t; tried Virgin Airlines but they said only the travel agent could make a change; tried the number I got from Virgin Airlines on the student travel agency where the ticket was actually purchased; they said I could go ahead and cancel it but to buy a new ticket would be $1000 more than what I already paid, so I just left it as-is. He also said the next time he could fly with the student rate was January 22! I was really praying and asking God what we should do!!!

I just couldn’t imagine what to do. I knew it would all work out but it was just so disappointing for Andrew – he had been preparing all this time, and yes, as the NET lady said, he would get there sooner or later and that was the important part. But….

All of a sudden it popped into my head: Isn’t it already January 3^rd in Australia? I checked online- -yes, it is! SO, there was a possibility that they would be able to grant his visa ‘today’, which is ‘tomorrow’ in Australia! We tried to find a phone number to call the visa office in Australia to see if we could expedite it, but the only numbers they had were local; it said you needed to BE in Australia to call. (I don’t know how that makes sense but whatever!)

The airline had told me that once it was three hours before the flight, they could make changes to the ticket and we wouldn’t have to go through the travel agent. We decided to just pray and wait it out. My brother Ken in California (thank God for awesome family!) with no hesitation offered to take Andrew in until his visa came through, so Andrew decided to go ahead and fly to Los Angeles and hope and pray for it to be granted, and if it wasn’t, his uncle Ken would pick him up.

Ten p.m. in Minnesota. Andrew is scheduled to leave at 6:15 a.m., in 8 hours. This email comes in from NET:

I can’t believe it. Andrew’s visa has come through! What great news. So he doesn’t need to change his flight. He is all good to go! It’s times like these that I’m reminded just how faithful God is.

Amazing! God wants to remind us that HE IS IN CHARGE. We were thinking everything was fine and we were praying like he was already there. Thank you, LORD, for the little nudges that keep us close to You!

As I look back, IF I would have gotten a hold of the travel agent, IF Virgin Airlines would have let me cancel the flight, IF the student travel agency would have had a different flight… I think God just wanted us to trust – yet I WASN’T trusting – I tried all these alternatives – but when they all fell through, THEN I trusted, because any other option just didn’t feel right. I don’t know, as you can see I am still learning and processing the whole event!

The cartoon above reminded me of Andrew. It even looks like him (minus the cigarette). I think Andrew is stalking his bliss right now… and is that so bad? What is bliss except that peace from God which surpasses all understanding, that inner confidence that we are doing the right thing? It may not be easy, but it is our path. So follow your bliss … or go ahead and stalk it!

Waiting Room Bliss

2011-03-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

In addition to traveling, I also love waiting rooms for the same reason. Generally there are some good magazines, sometimes you get free cookies, and all you can do is sit, think, and relax. Last Monday I had the best waiting room experience ever.

I was at Dent Kraft in Plymouth having a dent removed which Kathleen created by opening the mailbox too close to the van and banging the mailbox door on the van door. This is the second time I’d been to Dent Kraft, the first time a kid at football slammed his door into the side of the van. I had gotten two estimates, one for $450 and another for over $700. Then the guy who hit my car told me about Dent Kraft. I LOVE DENT KRAFT! I don’t know how he did it, but he got rid of a huge dent with a paintless dent removal technique for a mere $125. And you can’t see where it was. AMAZING. And while I waited! It took about an hour. (Yes, this is a blatant advertisement for Dent Kraft. Check them out at www.dentkraftpdr.com)

As I was waiting, the owner, Don Kavanagh, came into the waiting room and asked me if I had seen the Today show that morning. It was about a boy, now 11, who had a near death experience when he was four. We ended up chatting about the important things in life, the stuff I love to talk about. Turned out I knew his mom from church and we were right on the same page on just about everything. Talking to Don lifted my spirits and made me feel good all day. Truly a gift from God. One thing he said was reiterated by Sarah in the comments: Forgive, forgive, forgive! It is the answer to everything.

When my car was all finished and I was ready to go, I stuck out my hand to shake Don’s. He said, “Are you kidding me!” and he enveloped me in a hug that felt really good.

What is to learn from this experience? 1. If you have some dings in your car, go see Don. 2. Take every possible opportunity you can to hug, even a relative stranger. 3. God brings you to people and people to you, just when you need them. 4. Take Don’s (and Sarah's) advice: Forgive. It’s the only way to go.

Here’s wishing all the dings and dents in your life can be taken care of by Don, at Dent Kraft.

Wedded Bliss

2011-03-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

My latest bliss sighting was in the last Newsweek: “The secret to newlywed bliss? Irrational optimism about your spouse.” The little snippet went on to say that the marriages where the partners look at each other through rose-colored glasses were happier compared to those who went in with clearer eyes. Why? It’s attributed to “the vast powers of the human heart over the human brain.”

This positive attitude can be extended to anything. I was talking to my sister who has had perennial leaks in the roof of her building. One day as she was going down the stairs a drop fell right on her head. Instead of cursing the leak, she said “Holy water!” and thought of her blessings from God.

This came today from one of my other sisters: A crusty old man walks into the local Catholic church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, Sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the priest's study to inform him of her situation. The priest agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the priest asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 20 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money." "I see," said the priest. "And is this damn woman is giving you a hard time?”

Everything is a gift from God, even what we consider the ‘bad’ stuff. Today at the post office my eye was drawn to a card that said “It helps to remember that hidden within every obstacle is a treasure to behold.” It’s all part of the lesson on our way to enlightenment, bliss, heaven, whatever you want to call it. Let’s use those vast powers of the human heart for good. For love.

So tomorrow, before you face the day, be sure to put on your rose-colored glasses.

Airport Taxi

2011-03-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it feels like I drive to the airport a lot, and I’m never the one getting on the plane. I am the person who drops off or picks up, never the one who is getting out of the car.

This is from a book I’m reading called Awakening by Anthony De Mello:

Someone asked the Master the meaning of the phrase “The Enlightened person travels without moving.”

Said the Master, “Sit at your window each day and observe the ever-changing scenery in your backyard as the earth carries you through its annual trip around the sun.”

I like to travel, or at least I think I would like to; I haven’t done much of it. I like to marvel at the beauty of the world. I like to see and experience new things. But it is also the idea that by being somewhere else, I am temporarily released from the monotony and responsibilities of my current life. No more “I shoulds”, because I can’t!

I want to learn from the Master. I want to learn there are no “I shoulds” except for the ones I place on myself. I want to learn that I can sit where I am, and observe and enjoy and be thankful for the scenery in my own backyard.

“Ever-changing scenery” – in the day-to-day, it doesn’t seem like much changes, but I know it does. I also pray for the wisdom to be aware of how fleeting time is, and to experience, accept, and enjoy each moment given to me, without carrying forward regrets of the past or harboring worries about what lies ahead.

May you find bliss today - in your own backyard.

Hairy Bliss

2011-03-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

The other day I went on the website Beth recommended on aging. I took the Happiness test and got an A-. Not too bad, still room for improvement but I can live with it. You should try it. I also took the Health test, and it said that I was going to live until I was 98.4 years old, but I would only be healthy until 82. It gave me some ideas for improvement and said if I took the advice I could add another 1.3 years to my lifespan. I also watched the video where the author of the book was being interviewed by Oprah. He said, “When it comes to work, go after what gives you bliss, not what gives you bucks.” It was one of several bliss sightings for that day. Thanks for that, Beth!

When Kathleen was in San Jose for Christmas, she had gone to the doctor with her boyfriend Joe (he had to pick up some insulin). She was waiting in the waiting room and randomly picked up a New Yorker magazine to browse. Not her usual choice of reading material. She saw this cartoon and was immediately reminded of me. She had to deface the magazine to rip it out for me! The interesting thing was that it was drawn by none other than -- HARRY BLISS! If you have a last name of Bliss, Harry is a really great first name to have!

I looked on his website and subscribed to get a cartoon every day. So every morning a get an email that says, “Thank you for subscribing to Bliss!” Not a bad way to start the day.

May you all subscribe to bliss. And not the hairy kind.

Brain Boosters

2011-02-25T20:41:00.000-08:00

One thing that concerns me is getting alzheimer’s when I get old. Or even before I get old. My mom had it and it is heartbreaking to see. I do hope and pray that if it does happen, I become more of who I already am, being a happy person with a terrible memory, versus wanting to kick cats. So I read up and try to do things for my brain health. There was an article in Newsweek January 10-17, 2011 called “Can You Build a Better Brain?” I thought it was interesting so I will give you a summary with my take on it.

Scientists are finding that attempting to keep your brain active by memorization or crossword puzzles, etc. doesn’t work. “Doing crossword puzzles will improve your ability to…do crosswords.” What you want is something that transfers to all tasks across the board. Here is what does work:

1. The “ancestor effect.” “Thinking about our genetic origin … enhances intellectual performance.” Well, who knew my favorite pastime of sitting around reminiscing and listening to stories about our collective childhoods was good for me? I like to think that it’s because the veil between this world and the next is very thin, and when we talk about our ancestors, they listen, and they pray for us and help us.

2. A positive mood. Take a break and watch a funny YouTube video. Expose yourself. TO HUMOR.

3. “Being told you belong to a group that does very well on tests tends to let you do better than if you’re told you belong to a group that does poorly”. Reminds me of a time we were talking parenting and saying we shouldn’t compare our kids to others’ kids or to siblings. Someone asked Kathleen if I ever did that. She said, “Yeah, but always in the opposite way – ‘You guys are the best kids ever. You’re an Ojeda! We are the BEST!’”

4. Exercise. Simple aerobics. Walking 45 minutes a day three days a week. (I am just passing on the information; I didn’t say I followed all these things! Don’t judge me!) Findings show a year of exercise can give a 70 year old the connectivity of a 30 year old, improving memory, planning, and dealing with ambiguity and multitasking.

5. Meditation. It “increases the thickness of regions that control attention and process sensory signals.” Need I say more?

6. And weirdly enough: Video games?! BUT in order to be helpful, the game must require motor control, visual search, working memory, long-term memory, and decision making. Next time you’re over we’ll sit down to a rousing game of Halo.

Sounds easy enough. Now, what was I saying again?

Why Bliss?

2011-02-19T13:27:00.000-08:00

It all started with a cabin weekend in 2007 with my 3 sisters. When we get together we always get to talking about the important stuff of life. One evening we watched The Secret. The basis of it is the Law of Attraction. What you think about, so you will receive. I felt it was a little materialistic – in one example, a woman is drooling over a diamond necklace in a jewelry store window, she thinks about it around her neck, and Poof!, there it is! I had my paper and pencil ready to take notes, but during the watching of The Secret, the only word that came out for me was “bliss.” One of the women interviewed said, “Follow your bliss.” I didn’t know exactly what that meant (I still don’t), but it just stuck.

All of a sudden the word “bliss” was everywhere for me. At the antique shop, a vase with the word in pink letters; the author of a book I picked up that day was writing about living a “life of bliss”; the song at Mass was for “the Lord of bliss”; even Bliss pie was on the menu that night at the restaurant!

To condense four years of contemplating bliss into a short message, I think I’ve figured out that bliss is my ‘I love you’ from God. At first I thought he was saying I could have bliss here on earth (wedded bliss - ha! Does that even exist?), and I do hope that someday I will be in Eternal Bliss. But for now, when I see it or hear it, I think of God and the wonderful gifts He has given me. That’s what I’ve figured out - for today. Tomorrow the message may be different. Growing and learning is a continuous process.

So, I suggest to you to open yourself up to a love word from God. Ask Him what it is, and be open to listen. God’s primary language is silence. So be quiet for awhile and see what He has to say. It could be the best conversation you’ve ever had!

Thank you, Melissa!

2011-02-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

I planned on having my first post entitled "Why Bliss?", but yesterday was my niece Melissa's birthday, and really want to share how she made it an awesome day for all of us. As most of you know, Melissa passed away a couple of years ago from cancer at the age of 33. She was a wonderful person and we all still miss her. But who especially misses her is her mom, Bonnie, and her sister, Rachel. Blessing #1 was that we planned a trip to Grand Forks to visit my brother, then realized we would be having fun together and busy on Melissa's birthday without even trying. She planned that out perfectly, no time for sitting around moping! We really had a fun time just being in the car and laughing and talking.

#2: The weather was AMAZING. February 13, and 45 degrees outside. Both Rachel and I that morning said, "Thank you, Melissa!"

#3: At mass, they were talking about the Catholic Appeal and showed a presentation by their bishop, using an old projector. About halfway through, the projector malfunctioned and everyone talking had only half a head. It was pretty funny, and something Melissa would have definitely giggled about.

#4 The finale: When we got back to Minneapolis, we decided to stop for dinner at Houlihan’s (Bonnie’s suggestion, but I realized just now that Houlihan’s was a favorite for me and Melissa to go!) The hostess says a 30 minute wait unless we want to sit in the bar. We tell her the bar is fine, and leads us to an awesome table in the back which fits all 6 of us and is nice and secluded. Right away we said, “Thank you, Melissa!” The food was delicious but the service was less than perfect. It was two for one drinks so we ordered 4 Bloody Marys, and a bunch of small different appetizers. One came out, then 5 minutes later another, etc. It was a little annoying but we weren’t letting it mess up our night. Finally the waitress comes over and says, “Sorry for the bad service, here is a FREE DESSERT for all of you, plus the entire meal and drinks are ENTIRELY FREE!”

It was like, TOTAL BLISS! When was the last time you had a meal for 6 totally free from the restaurant because of bad service? And the service wasn’t even that bad! We thought right away, a gift from MELISSA! And so it was. Thank you, Melissa. We know you are still here. We know you are still loving us. And we love you, too.